Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
