Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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