Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
