i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
