I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
