Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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