I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
