Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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