Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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