at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
