If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
