Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
