Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
