can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
