okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
