Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
