Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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