She announced her abortion via fbk
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
