i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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