your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
