U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
