Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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