But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
