You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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