Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
