Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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