matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
