i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
