I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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