So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
