There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
