Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
