Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
