That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm passing your future prison.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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