Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
