every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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