he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
