He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
