Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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