K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
