Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
