A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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