Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
God gave him joint rollers for hands
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
