just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
