I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
