I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
