Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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