The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
