I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
