i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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