That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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