What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
