Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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